Student group suspected of committing arson from “feeling the Bern”


Clare Brennan, Staff Reporter

In the early hours of Tuesday morning, a large fire broke out in WY’s P.E. Building and a Bernie Sanders fan is thought to be the culprit. At the high school, the majority of students claim that they “feel the Bern.” This passion for Sanders may have been what caused the fire.

A resident in the neighborhood called the police when she noticed the large fire around 2 a.m. According to witnesses, at least a dozen fire trucks arrived and spent all night trying to put out the flames.

“It was definitely arson, no doubt about it,” Blaze Jones, a fireman on the scene, told The Beacon. “It’s very possible that there was more than one criminal involved. Fortunately, no one was hurt. The Main Building and Arts Building didn’t suffer too much, but the entire P.E. Building is in shambles.”

At first the Chicago Fire Department only suspected a Sanders fan may have committed this heinous crime, but now they are certain. In the P.E. Building, the only thing that survived the fire unharmed was a variety of Sanders merchandise, such as a “Feel the Bern” pin and “Bernie for President” yard signs that were spread out all over the lawn.

“Now that’s just not natural,” said Jones. “Those things must have been placed there intentionally.”

The WY community has gone into panic mode. Staff members are horrified and the sports teams are scrambling to find new places to hold practice. Principal Dr. Joyce Kenner has even offered to have practice in her own home. She’s concerned that without a gymnasium, WY’s precious athletics department will suffer.

“We here at Whitney M. Young Magnet High School do not give up in the face of hard times,” she pronounced. “I will do whatever it takes to save our school and keep my babies safe. I have a basketball court in my home that was previously reserved for Jahlil, but we might as well put it to good use.”

While endless rumors have spread as to who or what caused the fire, the Chicago Police Department has begun intense investigation to narrow down their list of potential criminals. Rather than struggling to squeeze confessions out of suspects, the CPD is overwhelmed by various students who have proudly claimed the fire as their own. Sanders is a very popular candidate among the WY student body and everyone wants to prove their loyalty to him.

WY Progressives, a supposed “political activism” club, is suspected to be a front for a Sanders crusade. Their weekly meetings where they discussed “political and social issues” may have just been time to plan the fire.

“It was us. We had to do it, we would do anything for Bernie. I’m his biggest fan. Have you ever seen me wear anything other than a Bernie shirt? I’ve been wearing this one for a week straight,” explained August Greenberg ‘17, the club’s Minister of Public Relations, motioning to his bright blue shirt with Bernie’s name displayed across it.

However, many other students have proven to be very viable suspects.

“No it was me! I’m Bernie’s number one fan. Anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong,” proclaimed Charles Kotrba ‘16. With a megaphone in one hand and protest signs in the other, he went on and on explaining how Bernie is what America needs to fix its corruption. “I mean, do people really think Hillary is liberal? Open your eyes, our country is falling apart.”

Tensions are running very high throughout the WY community. No one is sure who the true criminal is, but if the CPD doesn’t solve the case soon, Kenner vows to personally hunt him or her down.