In Whitney Young, there are multiple entrances and exits to other buildings, but there are the two main ones: the Gym Bridge, and the Arts Bridge. Naturally, since a massive amount of students cross through them due to classes being all over the place, there’s going to be traffic in between periods. In response to complaints of congestion at the Arts Bridge that connects to Blue House, Whitney Young’s administration has unanimously agreed to a policy that requires students to wear rollerblades, both in and out of class.
“The rollerblades are really gonna help with the traffic at the Arts Bridge. The faster people go, the less traffic there’ll be, obviously. We only care about speed and nothing else,” a traffic engineer that was hired to give his advice on this new policy stated.
The hope is that with the rollerblades, instead of pushing and shoving each other to get through the bridge, students crash into each other which leads to them getting out of the way of traffic.
“Now I can go as fast as I want while also reading on my Chromebook, since everyone else is gonna crash instead of me,” one seventh grader commented.
Indeed, this new policy will drastically decrease the amount of students that will be at the Arts Bridge. Some concerns have been raised over injury caused by the rollerblades, but that’s negligible. Kids get injured anyways, so what’s a few scrapes and bruises here and there.
The new policy doesn’t just stop at the Arts Bridge, as this new policy will help the traffic at the stairs connecting to it too. With the new rollerblade policy, it’ll be faster than ever as people will fall down the stairs. The people who use stairs to go up are virtually nonexistent, so it doesn’t matter that people can’t get to the third floor using rollerblades. Now the students with their faces in Chromebooks and phones all the time don’t have to pay attention to the stairs in case they’re going to hit people! A big round of applause to the geniuses at Whitney Young’s administration for their wonderful policy of making rollerblading mandatory.
