In the oftentimes chaotic world of high school social hierarchies, one archetype reigns supreme: the frat boy. Though traditionally a species found residing on the campuses of universities, its influence has trickled down to the halls of high schools around the country. And we here at The Bacon have curated a step-by-step guide to assist you on your journey to embodying this pinnacle of social achievement before you’ve even received your college acceptance letter.
Step 1: Wardrobe
In order to exude the true aura of a frat boy, one must adopt the dress code. Begin with either a pastel polo (popped collar non-negotiable) or a jersey of your favorite basketball team. Pair this with khaki shorts, irrespective of weather. Rain, snow, or shine, your heavily neglected lower body must be exposed to the elements to show the Geeds your machoness. Sperrys are the footwear of choice, socks are optional but strongly discouraged. For the finishing touch, a Patagonia vest to assert your outdoorsy spirit and preparedness for a career in the financial services industry.
Step 2: Beverage
A true frat boy is rarely found without a beverage in hand, the choice of which is crucial to one’s social standing among fellow bros. While high school regulations may restrict your access to the traditional nectar of fraternities, do not fear! A protein shake can serve a similar purpose in regards to one’s image. Carrying around a protein shake will keep you hydrated while also signaling to others your dedication to gains, an integral aspect of frat culture. Bonus points if the shaker bottle with which you carry your muscle juice is branded with the logo of a school you have yet to apply to.
Step 3: Lingo
Effective communication with your brothers is essential to becoming the ultimate frat boy. Thus, your vocabulary should be a mix of sports references, rumblings about the night before or soon to come, and the words “bro” or “dude” interjected at the beginning and end of every sentence. Practice phrases like “Who do you know here, bro?” or “Bro, are you gonna hit the gym before Brittany’s tonight?” Mastery of this eclectic dialect will truly cement your status as a Frat Star.
Step 4: Social Media
In the digital age, a frat boy’s social media presence is just as important as his real-life persona. Your feed should be a carefully curated collection of pictures with your boys, sunsets, and the occasional philanthropic event to showcase your depth to the babes. Pro tip: For maximum frattiness, every post should be accompanied by captions that either quote “The Wolf of Wall Street” or vaguely allude to the concepts of brotherhood and loyalty.
By adhering to these guidelines, you too can ascend the echelons of high school social life while also laying the foundation for a transition into fraternity life in college. Remember, being fratty is more than just the parties and polo shirts, it’s a state of mind. Now go, pop that collar, and seize your Frat Star destiny.
