As we approach the last quarter of the semester, Whitney Young’s seniors are reporting severe cases of senioritis. Senioritis, an interesting phenomenon known as “selective amnesia,” causes seniors to forget not just due dates and assignments, but their own names. The symptoms are as outrageous as they are amusing. Seniors disappear from class, claiming they will do their work “later” as if time were limitless, and others break out into spontaneous dance routines during lectures.

People catch senioritis through prolonged exposure to the infectious atmosphere of senior year. Like a contagious yawn, once one senior gives in to the urge to slack off, it spreads like wildfire, infecting classmates faster than you can say “graduation.” It can be transmitted through shared eye rolls during lectures or communal sighs of disappointment during group projects. A junior says the seniors are like “Ninjas, they disappear into the shadows whenever a test is mentioned.”

As the days grow warmer and graduation draws nearer, even the most diligent seniors find themselves caught in senioritis’s grasp. Lesson plans begin to gather dust as seniors prioritize Netflix over exams, their once sharp minds now dulled by the effects of the ailment. Teachers now resort to desperate measures to battle against classes of empty stares and half-hearted excuses. Some have even resorted to offering extra credit and free pizza for attendance. A history teacher states, “I never thought I’d see the day when I’d be competing with a slice of pepperoni for my students’ attention.”

But fear not, underclassmen, as there is still hope for our seniors. With graduation just around the corner and exciting senior activities planned for them, the promise of freedom and fun acts as a potent vaccine against this malicious disease. As seniors venture out and begin the next chapter of their lives, I hope you can learn from them during this little epidemic. So take notes, and may you all emerge stronger, wiser, and immune to procrastination…until next year, at least.