ATTENTION ALL HIGH SCHOOL COUPLES. Love is in the air. Hearts are light… or tight with the anxiety of confessing your feelings to your crush. Depends who you are, but we get it. Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, and you guys are feeling yourselves. 

However, for the rest of us who are single, you are unbearable. Yes, love is a powerful feeling. As Shakespeare said, “love is blind.”  Love can make you ignore all else around you and see only your partner. It puts you guys in your own little world and makes you act as if no one is around. For Valentine’s Day, I’ve decided to give all those in love the gift of self-awareness. Here’s what not to do [in school] on Valentine’s Day.

1. Pet Names: Don’t call each other “cute” names (e.g.“My pookie wookie sweet bumble bee.”) It’s not cute.

1. PDA: Don’t suck face in the hallways, especially not in front of someone’s locker. That’s just embarrassing, and now I gotta pretend like I don’t see you while getting my folder out of my locker just to avoid second hand embarrassment.

1. COVID PDA: Don’t “make out with masks on,” says Mia Vasquez ‘24. “Like guys, what are you doing?”

1. “Don’t cuddle standing up. Don’t cuddle sitting down. Don’t cuddle in the library. Just don’t cuddle,” says senior Sel Rubio. Leave that for the house.

1. Gender Neutral Bathrooms are SINGLE USE OCCUPANCY. Nuff said.

1. Don’t feed each other. Y’all are grown.

1. Don’t ignore your friends to talk to or hangout with your partner. 

1. Don’t talk about your sex lives. Gets a bit TMI.

1. Don’t spend every single conversational opportunity talking about each other. You’ve already said enough!

1. Don’t tell other people that they’ll eventually find their own special someone too. Condescending!

1. Mind your business: Don’t fight in the hallways. Have your fights in private. Why do you want other people knowing about your relationship issues anyway?

In conclusion, high school couples, please be more mindful of your actions, where you are, and of the people around you. The rest of us regular people didn’t come to school to be bombarded by hormone stricken kids sucking face. I’m not saying don’t do cute couple things. There are other ways to do that… maybe outside of school without bombarding other students with PDA they didn’t ask to see. Thanks!