In a move that has left students, parents, and faculty bewildered, Whitney Young Magnet High School has decided to spend over $15 million of its budget towards… you guessed it, new windows.
While most schools might prioritize investments in academic resources, extracurricular activities, or even health and safety, Whitney Young has taken a bold stance in favor of transparent priorities – quite literally.
The extravagant investment in windows has sparked widespread speculation across the school, leading many to question if the school leadership mistakenly confused the institution for a greenhouse or a high-end showroom.
However, upon investigation, it seems this decision was well thought out and holds countless benefits for many of our students.
“These 
new windows have greatly increased the surface area upon which we can do window math! I can now solve extremely complex and lengthy proofs that I simply didn’t have enough room to write out on the old windows,” said Keith Xin, a sophomore in Mr. Kang’s PreCalc BC class.
The advantages of the new windows don’t stop with academics. Heaven Watson, a Blue House lunch regular is delighted with the extreme heat and brightness that the new windows offer daily. “I just love it when a bright ray of sun blinds me as I’m trying to enjoy my lunch,” she says.
Senior Ben Morelock says the windows are a great use of our money– “It’s not like there are thousands of potholes that need to be fixed in the parking lot or anything. The superb natural light is worth every pothole I’ve encountered trying to find a spot.”
And for Miller Jackson, an avid bird watcher, these crystal clear windows are simply a blessing. “I’ve started a daily ritual of bird-watching during AP Calculus. I’d pick birds over integrals any day.”
While the decision to allocate such a significant portion of the budget towards new windows may have initially raised eyebrows, it’s clear that the investment is not without its supporters. From providing ample space for “window math” to offering a delightful lunchtime sunbathing experience, and even accommodating the hobby of bird-watching during calculus, these windows have found unexpected champions among the student body. Besides, who needs new sports equipment, textbooks, or instruments when we can have crystal-clear windows that offer an invaluable glimpse into the outside world?
