Things are getting hairy at Whitney M. Young Magnet High School, as a curious case of contagious gout has taken over the institution. But surprisingly, attendance levels haven’t decreased, as students refuse to stay home. “I need my 8 days,” said one anonymous senior. “I wanna be able to go to prom but doctor’s appointments still count against us.” The 8-day rule mentioned is in place to try and keep seniors in class. If they have less than a 95% attendance rate, or miss more than 8 days, students lose their eligibility to engage in senior activities like prom and the luncheon. 

Not all absences are created equal. If a student misses class for a school function, like a field trip or sporting event, that specific absence doesn’t count towards the 8-day mark. But some absences that may seem perfectly reasonable not to count against students still do, like doctor and dentist appointments. Students who need to go to the doctor have no choice but to hurt their eligibility by seeking medical help. “I needed to see a professional, but couldn’t miss the day,” commented patient 0 for the gout case, who we’ll refer to as Big G. “So I decided to go to the game on Friday and see the physical trainer to get a checkup. I learned about the problem, but may have gotten other people sick.” 

When seeing the physical trainer, Big G had unknowingly started the gout epidemic currently plaguing Whitney Young. As of now, no less than 65 students have reported cases of gout, but none of them have missed school for it. “If you’re out sick for 3 or more days, you can try and get a doctor’s note,” one of the afflicted seniors mentioned. “But that only works if you miss 3 or more. It’s better for us to miss more days and get a note than try and come back as quickly as possible and then be punished.” 

While the case of gout is only temporary, the problems presented by the 8-day rule will continue to mutilate the scholarly experience of Whitney Young seniors. Students feeling that it is not worth it to attend important medical appointments because of their dedication to senior activities will be a problem for years to come. This will cause the downfall of not only these students, but the destruction of the school itself. As students neglect their health, the reputation and statistical greatness of Whitney Young will follow the same downward trend of the children’s well-being. Time is ticking Whitney Young, and you’re on the clock.