The scene is a typical one in the halls of Whitney Moore Young Magnet High School, halls soaked in a history of lies, secrets, and mediocre high school video production. Inside a division, like any other. This one is a freshman division, it’s early October. Dr. Kenner comes over the intercom, as she is wont to do. She declares that it is “Be nice to someone Monday”. The freshmen, as of yet unaccustomed to the tradition, snicker and shift uncomfortably in their seats.

Announcements take long, as they always do. Homecoming is coming up. There’s plenty of talking about school fees and vaccinations.

Dr. Kenner comes, finally, to the end. She’s talking about the student-athletes. We’ve won some city or state championship. We’re going to have a pep rally.

At the end, as if she had just stopped herself from forgetting, Dr. Kenner mentions the girl’s basketball/volleyball/tennis/etc team. They won a game. “Congratulations to our Lady Dolphins” she says, as if dolphins are only male.

The freshmen are confused. “I really don’t understand why they call them that.” Said Declan Bigger ‘18, “Also, please stop calling me a freshman, why are you interviewing me? I’m a senior, like you.” Sure you are, Declan.

Some people might question Chairman Kenner, whose infinite wisdom is never to be questioned, explained in her Pulitzer Prize winning weekly memo “Kenner’s Korner” that they are called Lady Dolphins because (the following section has been redacted due to national security concerns).

It is the next Monday, and things have returned to how they once were. The scene is a typical one in the halls of Whitney Moore Young Magnet High School, halls soaked in a history of lies, secrets, and mediocre high school video production. Inside a division, like any other. This one is a freshman division, it’s early October. Dr. Kenner comes over the intercom, as she is wont to do. She declares that it is “Be nice to someone Monday”. The freshmen, now more accustomed to the proclamations, riff off the announcements among themselves. Dr. Kenner announces that the our “Lady Dolphins” have won a game/city/state championship. The freshmen still don’t get why. But they know better than to ask.