Chicago Public Schools CEO Forrest Claypool released a statement yesterday detailing a new plan to compensate for the numerous effects of CPS budget cuts.

“Far too many CPS students have been robbed of their education due to the uncertainty of our state budget,” says Claypool, “In attempt to give back to our students, CPS will be enacting a new initiative entitled, “Vacation for Education” (VE program) for our 1st to 12th grade students starting this summer of 2016…the VE program will allow students to utilize their time efficiently towards furthering their education.”

The plan will show students how much city officials care for their public schools. Teachers and staff will have the opportunity to earn more pay, parents won’t have to worry about scheduling frivolous vacations and can focus on their jobs, and students get more time in class to learn, ensuring that there is no resentment towards CPS and city officials.

When asked about the benefits of the VE program, Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel muttered, “You guys asked for something and here it is so just be grateful for once,” before heading off to O’Hare airport with his family, en route to Bora Bora.

Some students are skeptical about the plan, though. CPS student It’ss Mary shared, “I don’t understand how they’re gonna do it with all of the cuts; won’t they have no resources to keep school going?”

The VE program will show students how resourceful CPS can be, providing the children with useful life skills including perseverance and creativity. “If students really want an education, they should do anything they can to make it work,” says Emanuel.

CPS will be working with students to make the most out of the cuts by turning scarcity of resources into education. For example, when the air conditioning stops running, students will begin their science unit, creating new cooling systems as a final project. The cheapest, most efficient project will be chosen to replace all CPS air conditioning systems. The creator will receive a $10 gift card to Dunkin Donuts and $4.99 on their Ventra cards. For younger students, they will learn to be be financially literate. When they become future city and state officials, they will be able to manage money and break the cycle of stretched budgets.

Charleston, a 7th grader at WY’s academic center is thrilled to begin the program. “My hobbies include robotics and avoiding the sun so I can’t wait for the VE program to start…I love eating on the bridge and playing all of the games I want on the school computers until the tech guy comes to yell at me; it’s such an adrenaline rush.”

The increased education requirements will improve the overall test scores of CPS schools. “We’re so excited to get started,” exclaimed Claypool while adjusting the fly of his pants.