After more than a month of a pong-free Gold House, Whitney Young’s ping pong tables are back for the enjoyment of students schoolwide. Anticipated by dozens of Whitney Young pangers, the return of the tables could not have come at a better time, as the winter weather limits students’ options during free periods.

Harold Carpenter ‘16 felt relieved to know the tables were finally back. “Thank god they’re back,” Carpenter said, “Now I won’t have to deal with all these Ackies ruining Blue House during my lunch period. I know this might sound a little controversial, but I think segregation might actually be the best way to deal with them.”

This opinion was further elaborated on by Augustine Barry ‘17. “Now that the tables are back there should be enough space in the library that you can actually get a computer. The last month has been absolutely brutal,” Barry went on, holding back tears, “they camp out in there and just play Halo all period.”

With the Academic Center population at an all time high, the news comes as a welcome relief to overworked administrators and claustrophobic upperclassmen. Mackenzie Cox ‘16 was pushed to the limit by the onslaught of gangly tweens. “I was honestly going to start shoving them into open lockers,” Cox said, “I didn’t care about the repercussions; I just needed a way out.”  

As winter melts into spring, and the school year draws to a close, we can all remain confident that even in the constant uncertainty that is life, equilibrium will always be restored. There’s always another wh-Ackie class on the way.