Bacon: Join Whitney Young’s Bird Squad!


Image Courtesy of National Geographic. 2023.

Katherine Ramirez, Staff Editor

Gold, green, red, blue – the color of our lunch houses here at Whitney Young High School. Surely, cafeterias aren’t the equivalent of the wilderness, or woods, or the forest, or whatever the places with trees are called. Perhaps the birds, the ones heard chirping all day, are confused by the said lively colors of the houses. Maybe they saw the fake plants and wanted to do whatever birds do to plants (build a house out of them or something?). But really, the birds probably came into our high school through an open lab window to see what everyone was working on. The birds just wanted to spend some time with the students and be a part of the Whitney Young Community. But that’s too bad because they aren’t welcome here; they gotta go.

Are you worried about getting bird poop in your lunch? Would you prefer peace and quiet while taking quizzes in the main building? If the  answer is “yes,” then you should joining Whitney Young’s Bird Squad! Our mission is to get the birds out of the school. Through the use of butterfly nets and Big Gulp cups from 7-11, we will try to catch the birds. We currently have only a handful of groupmembers, hence the newspaper callout. 

See, the thing is, birds are fast. We need as many people as possible to try and catch the birds; we meet after school on Mondays until 4:30. If you could join us that would be great! Especially if you play a sport and you are a fast runner, you could add bird-catching and release to your resume if you join Bird Squad.

Here at Bird Squad, we don’t want people to feel discouraged about not being able to catch the birds. We haven’t even caught one yet, which is why we need your help. With a bigger squad, we could potentially overpower the bird. Also, birds can’t see glass. So, we have more strengths than they do. 

But wait, there’s more: this club offers opportunities to make new friends. We jam out to “Da Biggest Bird” by Saint Mercator while running around the school. If you want to have a good time, catch birds, and solve problems for all of Whitney Young High School, you should consider joining Bird Squad!