Satirical Essay

Around Europe, America is the go-to laughingstock. Europeans say, “Their President is their biggest problem,” or, “No, their national debt is their largest problem.” That’s simply not true. The most concerning issue facing the United States is the American housing market.

Few things are more consistent than the rise of the U.S. housing market. According to CNBC, the median house price in 2018 is around $205,000, $170,000 more than the median house price in 1940, these calculations reveal the tremendous 570% jump in housing prices in a matter of 70 years. The economy has not given enough back to the American people in order to keep up with the ever-increasing prices. Although wages are climbing (2.6% in 2017), the percentage wails in comparison to the housing market increase.  

Some places are better than others. For example, the great state of Texas has a lower median price range of about $174,500 (Zillow). This would be fantastic news if people actually wanted to live in Texas. Renting properties is not necessarily an easier task. For the three largest cities in the U.S., New York City, Los Angeles, and Chicago, the average rent expenditure totals out to be roughly $4,100, $2,200, and $1,800 respectively a month. While renting is definitely cheaper and ideally easier, it’s still a burden to pay on time. Renting is used as a strategy to save up money for large expenses such as houses and cars and accessories. Nearly 40% of tenants pay late (Marcia Maynard) and the continuously rising housing market has also upped the prices on renting locations across the country. Buying houses is becoming harder, renting is becoming expensive too, and the American wages aren’t increasing fast enough to support this ever growing imbalance. 

One reason for the housing inflation is the overpopulation of the urban areas. It is said that more than 80% of the American population lives in urban settlements (  It’s no surprise, cities offer more opportunities and variations of lifestyle more than anywhere else. Urban societies may offer a better lifestyle, but more and more people are flocking to the cities, not helping the expensive housing market. But cities only make up about 3.5% of the total land area.

A humble solution for the housing issue is to reverse the trending pattern of migration into cities, and spread the American population throughout the whole country. Chicago has a population density of about 15,500 people per square mile while the entire United States has a population density of just 86 people per square mile. 47% of the United States is uninhabited, so if people utilized all the available land and begin to spread themselves over the country, overly dense societies wouldn’t be a problem.

The only resolution to the expensiveness of the housing market, is to create a living situation much more cost effective, even cheaper than renting. A low cost and reasonable alternative would be to thrive in the natural environment. The States offer a great selection of ecosystems, including the most practical for human life would be forests. Forests provide its inhabitants with plenty of food options. Mammals such as rabbits, raccoons, and even deer can be a fantastic source of necessary vitamins to lead to a healthy life. An easy way to capture the bigger and meatier animals, such as boars and foxes, would be to use babies and young children as bait. Once the animal is distracted with feeding on the children, one can ambush the animal making it an easy kill and food for weeks. The plantlife presents its inhabitants with amazing secondary food choices. The canopies protect its inhabitants from the irritation of rain and from the harsh sunshine. The healthy and sturdy trees can offer its inhabitants a perfect place to reside. Countless animals sleep in trees, humans can follow suit and still lead a long and healthy life. Best of all, living in the forests is free and private. One will still maintain their own land, for each family will be allotted one tree.

Living in forests would be better for the American people for a few reasons. First, it’s free, and that solves the largest problem in the current housing market. The food is free, the land is free, and the trees which the population would live in are also free. Second, the new way of life would not take away from the inhabitants previous lifestyle. It would definitely be a tough transition, but one can save money and can still do everything they like to do. Transitioning from city life to living in forests would completely solve the uber-expensive housing market and would offer a better and new perspective on a new American lifestyle. There should be no argument disapproval of this solution. People will criticize and ask how the people will keep warm. It’s simple, fires. This country was built on the principles of being to pursue life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. These three aspirations are more feasible while living in the forests without the nagging debt the housing can put one into.