America in a Dome

satire

Rogelio Renteria

Instead of dealing with the constant crime brought by people illegally entering the United States, I think an effective, full-proof plan to combat this issue would be to build a dome. This dome would be so beneficial to keeping the country safe from crime. Of course, we would have to get rid of all Mexican people in the country first, since they’re the only people entering illegally and the primary issue here. After completing that simple task of just basically wiping out about 11 percent of the U.S population (I mean it’s only 36 million people — how hard can that be?), we could begin constructing the dome around the country. 

 

At least one Whitney Young student seems to agree.¨I just know Mexicans are the ones causing all the crime in my city so it would just be beneficial for them to be forced to leave¨ says, Jeffrey White ‘21. 

 

This immense dome, that would surround the United States of America, would be built mostly out of the cement that is imported from foreign countries since America alone would not be able to produce enough to complete the entire process. The dome would have a nice spherical shape that would resemble the top of the U.S Capitol building but instead of on top of a building it will be over the entire country. There would be holes around the structure that would serve as windows so that at least some sunlight can enter maybe even a bird or two but NEVER illegal aliens. This dome would basically make it impossible for people to enter our beautiful country illegally, *ugh* the land of the free and the home of the brave. It would only require a little bit more funding than the 5.7 billion dollars being asked for the wall to be built along the border but it shouldn’t be too much to ask from our taxpayers. 

 

¨I don’t actually pay taxes yet, but since I’m not going to till I’m 24 because my dad’s company isn’t going to hire me till then I think it is a great idea to use that money paid in taxes to build the wall.¨ expressed, Chet Hawkins ‘25.

 

Instead of using the money to, you know, give it back to the citizens of America or make it simpler for immigrants to be granted citizenship, it should obviously be spent on building this expensive, completely necessary dome to ensure the safety of our innocent, American born citizens. Besides getting rid of all the drug-ridden Mexican criminals, it also gives legal Americans the opportunity to get their jobs back. 

Kathyrn Lawson ‘20, mentioned, ¨ I haven’t applied to a job in three years but I just know those Mexicans are the reason I cannot get one.¨ 


Since those illegal people are gone, they are no longer taking up the back-breaking, hard manual labor jobs meaning that Americans can get jobs that rightfully belong to them. Who wouldn’t want to work countless hours in excruciating conditions to ensure the safety of its people? This dome will probably put the country into an immense amount of debt but that doesn’t matter because the major problem is gone and the people of the country would be safe. This wall would bring people together since there is no other possible way for crime to occur inside the dome… and also no way for diversity to increase since there is no possibility of entry. However, in order for this to succeed, there must be support behind our wonderful president, Donald Trump, the grandson of an illegal immigrant and Melania Trump, his Slovenian born wife. May there be justice and liberty for all.