In light of recent security concerns, Whitney Young’s administrative team has implemented a new policy requiring students to have their fingerprints scanned and analyzed in order to be permitted to enter the school. “Safety should always remain a priority here at Whitney Young, and the security of this building is our utmost concern,” said Red Harrington, who is in charge of facilitating the fingerprint scanning process. Harrington also mentioned plans to construct a moat around the school grounds- which would be called the Michelle Obama Aquatic Complex. This project will commence in the Fall of 2019 and is expected to be completed in the Summer of 2022. When asked about the predicted effectiveness of said moat, Mr. Harrington declined to comment.

This is not the first security policy that has been implemented at Whitney Young. Students have always been required to show their I.D.s in order to enter the building, and are prohibited from letting anyone enter the building without faculty permission. While it is good that Whitney Young staff and students are dedicated in maintaining a safe and secure school environment, some concerns have been raised- is building a moat around the school too much? No, says Dr. Irma N. Otrealprsn, spokesperson for Mr. Harrington. “We have big plans for this school. Very big plans…and the fingerprints and the moat are only the beginning!” proclaimed Dr. Otrealprsn with a smile before cleaning her hands with five different types of hand sanitizer.

The school itself is largely divided in their opinions regarding the additional security measures. “I would prefer that the Security Committee had been included in the decision to hire outside personnel.” said Anne O. Nymous ‘20, a concerned student, “Who are Mr. Harrington and Dr. Otrealprsn? Something seems fishy, and it’s not the moat.” However, some students, like Sue Donym ‘19 and Faye Kstudnt ‘20, support the moat- saying, “Having a moat will be very helpful for the school.”

In all seriousness, having a safe school is important, and it is amazing that staff and students are taking security seriously. Just remember; it is crucial that you do not lower the drawbridge for anyone without faculty permission and only use the main office drawbridge entrance to enter the school during the school day.

Happy April Fool’s Day. Thank you.